When something really resonates in me, I go for it!

Ulla Miilmann is one of the most renowned Danish flutists.
She studied flute at the North Carolina School of the Arts and has won several competitions, including the Danish All Music Competition and the "Flute-Talk" in Chicago.
At the age of 22, she became the principal flutist of the Danish National Symphony Orchestra. She has appeared on many stages throughout Scandinavia as a soloist and chamber musician. She has been nominated for a Grammy Award as best instrumental soloist with orchestra for the Flute concerto recording of Ole Schmidt, and her recording of Carl Nielsen’s Flute concerto won a 2024 BBC Music Magazine Award for concerto recordings. For 15 years she was a Flute Professor at the Royal Danish Conservatory of Music.

We met Ulla during the 18th Adams International Flute Festival 2025 in the Netherlands and wanted to know more about her upbringing, studies in the US, and other things. It turned out to be a deep conversation about the meaning of life, the importance of experiences, the personality of the performer, and how to find resonance that is already within us to make it special for everyone who cares to listen.

How did it all start? When did you realize that you wanted to become a flutist?

It was like lightning from the sky.
Well, I started on piano first. And it went well with one hand, and then the other hand, and then I had to put them together, and then I realized that it was not for me. Then, at some point, I was watching TV, and there, I think it must have been Galway – all I can remember there was a man with big rings and a golden flute. It was in 1978 or something like that. These days, we have had only one TV channel anyway (laughs). I vividly remember that I saw him, and I heard him, and I said: That is what I want to do! So, I just knew right away.

And that is pretty much how I function as a person. When something really resonates in me, I go for it. It is a calling that I have to do certain things. So, that is how it all started.

Born in Denmark, and most likely to be able to study at many great schools in Europe, you chose to get your bachelor's degree at the University of North Carolina, School of the Arts. Why?

In the 1980s, it was very fashionable, at least in Denmark, that you go to study abroad, at least for one year. My brother did, and then it was my turn. My parents did not want to send me to a regular school, they wanted me to continue to take flute lessons.
My flute teacher at that time was the principal flutist of the Danish Royal Theater Orchestra, Eyvind Rafn. His colleague was Susan Christensen. This sounds very Danish, but she was actually American. At that time, I was a naive little 15-year-old girl, coming from the countryside, and Susan said: Well, Juilliard is not a place for Ulla, but there is a school in North Carolina, which is quite new, and it is very protected. The North Carolina School of the Arts is a little university city of itself.
For my parents, knowing that it was a patrolled area was a rather comforting idea, and they felt fine sending me over there. Then I applied and got in.

So, what happened next, after you came home?

It was wonderful studying at the school, but at the end of it, I was also a little bit overwhelmed, especially when I came home. My mom really supported me and always wanted me to play flute. She was very proud of me, but there were also a lot of expectations. That led me to question myself – do I play the flute because I want to, or do I play it because my mom wants me to play it? At that point, I felt that I had to get away from it, to sort it out for myself.
So, when I came back, I put the flute away and took a job as a postal worker. I started to sort letters, and became really good at it, because you must be really fast, and I became one of the fastest ones. But it was tough work. You must work late evening to the early morning, you know. I even got upgraded to write out tickets, but soon enough I started to ask myself questions like – is this the career for my life that I want?

That’s when I realized that I really wanted to play the flute professionally. But this postal work experience was very good for me. It was necessary to get away from the flute, to come back to the flute, and this time it was my own choice.
It's like if you are baptized in church when you are a baby, and then you confirm your faith when you are a little older. So, it is like that. I confirmed my destiny to myself.

So, then I thought, okay, I am here in Denmark, and I know nobody. Then I contacted the solo flute of the Danish Royal Theater Orchestra, not my former teacher, but the other one who was there, Henrik Svitzer. I contacted him and just said that I want to take some lessons.

After a rather short period of time, three months or so, there was a solo flute audition in that orchestra. I was not in good shape yet, but I played well and was offered a substitute position, which gave me a possibility to get into the orchestra environment that way. So, I played for one year there, and after that, there was an audition for the principal flute of The Danish National Symphony Orchestra. It was in 1994, and I won that, even though I was only 22 at that time.

It was wonderful, but it was also very tough. I can only talk about Denmark, but at this point, there were no female solo players at that time. So, I was the first female solo principal woodwind player.
We can all clap our hands and say that was wonderful, but it was also very tough. Not because some people had ill intentions, but there was a different culture back then, you know. I love all my colleagues, but when you are a girl who comes into a boy's locker room, it is different. I was brought up with two elder brothers, and I always knew how to manage the jargon.

When you go on stage as an orchestra musician, you must know that you can trust the other players. It is like an endeavor we are in together, you know. Because we are only as strong as the weakest link. And that is why I think you must have a certain personality to thrive in an orchestra. You have to be resilient. You must have courage; you must have some degree of faith in each other as well.
And your colleagues will try to test you, to see if you can stand the pressure in concerts and trust you when things get shaky. Can you stand the social pressure? Can you stand this joke? It is a way of testing how resilient you are and so on.
I think the testing process will always take place. People will test each other. It is just the nature of the human being.

Can you name three most important events in your life that made the biggest impact on your career, on your life?

So, the first important event was the “struck by lightning” experience when choosing to play the flute, when I was about eight years old. That was very strong. This was a realization; this is what I should do in my life. And the postal office experience was a confirmation of that revelation.

The next big revelation I got was after eight or nine years of playing in the orchestra. At this point, I was a single mom, and I had two children. I went to work, I came back home, did house chores, day after day, always very tired, and I started to question the meaning of my life. So, one night, while I was folding clothes, the realization came to me that the meaning of life is exactly what I was doing right now: folding clothes. So, the meaning of life is whatever you do here and now. It was an epiphany that the meaning of life is not outside of me or ahead of me. This realization has shaped me profoundly, and it has influenced, in large part, the decisions I have made in my life. I have to always strive to stay connected to my values and beliefs and never lose this connection to myself.

I have taught at the Royal Danish Academy for 15 years. And I have created something beautiful and something good. But I have just quit… It takes many years to work up a studio, and here I was at the height of it, but I lost the connection to Ulla and my own creativity and spark in life. So, I needed a break, even though it was sad to leave.

You came to this realization, but what's next?

I don't know, yet, and this is where I like to be. Don't be afraid of the limbo. It is scary, but in this state of not knowing, I try to allow myself to be there without judgment. There are so many possibilities.
And I don't worry about speed. The direction is more important. I would rather be moving slowly in the right direction than fast in the wrong direction.
Creativity can sometimes get lost in being too focused on one thing. So, I have also put myself in this position where I don't know.
I know that I am a very extreme person, I know that. But I like to feel that sense of life or death. Even if this means I might lose everything. I will never pay the price of losing the connection with myself. I am fine with letting go of everything, so long as I know I am being true to myself.

Have you had other episodes in your life, where you chose to work or study something different than the flute?

So, at some point in my 30s, I decided to study something again, because it was not enough for me just to play the flute. I am interested in many things, but I decided to become an astrologer. Astrology is closely related to philosophy, psychology, and mythology. You know, Carl Jung used all his archetypes from astrology and mythology. I started to study astrology, not to become a professional astrologer, but to expand my knowledge and to know more about the archetypes.
I thought it was so interesting to really understand these things, because they are so clear in music. These archetypes are so relatable in the overall understanding of the characters in the musical pieces we play.

As musicians, we risk living in a separate, excluded world, but there is so much more outside of that, and I am ready to explore. It is so fascinating, you know. And “the real world” really resonates with me, who I am. Deep down I do not see myself as a flutist. It is just something that I do.

When I met my husband, he was a truck driver for Post Denmark. I persuaded him to start a trucking company together, with me as a manager. In Europe, you cannot start a trucking company with a vehicle that weighs over 3,6 tons without proper education. So, I completed a trucking company education, and I bought a big truck! It was a MAN, 640 horsepower, with a tandem, which means that the wheels can pull individually.

The risk of going to work every day and doing the same repetitive thing is that working life can start to feel like a production conveyor. It is very secure, but at the same time very predictable.

It came to that point that I felt no “kick” to get up in the morning to rush to orchestra work. So, to feel the thrill again, I chose to get myself into some “economic instability” by taking up a big loan to start up a trucking business. Totally crazy, I know, but I did it, and I don't regret it one bit. Even knowing that the trucking business world is dirty, literally and figuratively.

There is this funny story about the trucking education I had to take. So, in the class, all the “students” were these big men, real truckers. The teacher says, “I want everybody to talk a little bit about their background.” (sounds like Robin Williams would impersonate some tough guy). So, the guys go forward saying, “I was in the sewage business, I had my own trucking company,” and so on, until my turn came. “I’m a solo flutist and so on…” and everybody was just looking at me like I was an alien.

I think I thrive in putting myself into unusual situations. I am very interested in breaking down boundaries between people. I knew they were going to see me as a first-class snob. But after a while, we were cool with each other, and we had so much fun.
Once my husband and I started our company, it was a lot of work; the wheels had to turn 24/7 to be somewhat profitable, and I had to do all the accounting stuff. Do you know how much the monthly bill for the gas alone is? Around 7000 euros! Just for one truck.
At some point, we realized we could not stay profitable unless we were willing to play it dirty. We decided to close it down. At that point, we had two trucks and three chauffeurs. But that's how it is. All these trucks you see out there are all underpaid, really.

But I do regret it? Not one bit, because there is more to it than just that. It was a way to understand my husband and my husband's world, you know, it was also an act of love: I don't look down at you because you're a truck driver. I think what you do is cool.

I am not a straight line, and I think I do not want to be one either.
I'm very excited about this new age that I am entering. I don't know if you know this feeling, where something just must go to make room for what will come.

Do you consider Kuhlau as a Danish or German composer?

We must understand that the culture between the Copenhagen area and northern Germany is very much alike. So, he is both! It is not so much a question of country boundaries as it is of a certain culture of northern Europe. Of course, many of his melodies are inspired by Scandinavian songs.
I think many misunderstand Kuhlau, perceiving his compositions only as virtuosic music. In my opinion, it is often played too fast, and it is not played with the right romantic feel to it, the right Beethoven romantic feel to it. The key to his music lies in the period of the works of late Beethoven. Also, in terms of tempo rubato.

What advice could you give young flutists?

I would highly recommend reading the book by Bruno Walter, “Of Music and Music Making” (Von der Musik und vom Musizieren). In it, you learn perceive the composer as a strong individual, and you, as a performer, must have an equally strong personality. You must not overshadow the composer, but you must match him in personality, wisdom, and knowledge.

One of the ways we can teach young people to gain wisdom is to encourage them always to seek new knowledge. Then decipher what you observe to see whether this new knowledge resonates with you or not. You must build on a resonance that is already there.
You cannot just adapt an idea if it doesn't resonate deeply within you. I think we are all, to some degree, born with a musical resonance within ourselves. This resonance can be stronger or weaker, but we should always try to strengthen it.

If I can sum up this interview, I have talked a lot about life. And I talk about life because life is the most important thing, and music is life. I usually say to my students: whatever you do with music, it must reflect life. It must resonate with life.